Top 5 Stupid Statements from People with Children and the Appropriate Response.


05.   Just relax. It’ll happen for you when you least expect it.

Oh. You mean like earthquakes, sudden deaths, cancer? Great. I’ll immediately stop trying to have children but will instead sit back and wait for something I have no control over.

  1.  You’re so lucky! You have freedom, money to spare, sleep!

Yep. That’s me. Lucky. (Make sure this is said in a sarcastic tone of voice, or it really won’t have the same impact)

  1.   Oh God, you can have mine!

Brilliant. Sign here please. (Make sure you carry a contract with you everywhere you go. You never know when you’re going to be in the right place at the right time.)

  1.   Oh, is it you or your husband that has the problem?

We’re not sure really. We think it might have something to do with the brand of coffee we drink. What do you think? What kind of coffee were you drinking when you were trying to conceive? Oh, you didn’t try? It just happened? Huh. (Be aware that this kind of sophisticated response may go right over the heads of some people)

  1. Have you thought of adoption?

No. In all the years I’ve wanted, dreamt of, and yearned for children, I have never thought of adoption. (Make sure you state this really quickly, people that make this statement simply don’t deserve any more of your time.)

Countess Drusilla and I hope you find these useful. At the very least, they will probably end the conversation so that you don’t have to put up with this nonsense any longer.

Comment below if you would like some help with responses to the stupid statements that drive you mad.

The Power of Words

I’m quite fond of words. Click To Tweet As long as I don’t have to speak them in front of big crowds. That’s never fun.

Writing them, however, is one of my greatest joys. And one of the things I do the best, if I do say so myself. As most of you know, I’m currently writing a Vampire novel.

Why a Vampire novel? Just because. Okay? There’s absolutely no need to delve into my psyche to try and discover why I like dead people. I just do. It’s got nothing to do with my father dying when I was 6 years old. Absolutely nothing.

Moving right along.

So, although it’s a Vampire book, it’s really about women. Women, and mothers, and not mothers. It’s my way of sharing my grief over never becoming a mother. And releasing a bit of anger about it too, if I’m being completely honest.

And why should anyone else care about my grief? Because my story is important. Just like yours. And just like the mother’s standing next to you. My story is different from yours, although some of my feelings, thoughts, and experiences may be similar. My story has turned out to be a different one than I would have written, if I’d been given the choice, but it’s no less valid than anyone else’s.

And it’s going to have a happy ending. How do I know?

Because I’m going to make damn sure it does. I’ve decided that my childlessness will not destroy me.  Or define me, or turn me into someone I don’t want to be.

I will be happy. I will be fulfilled. I will be productive. I will be remembered. These are the things I have control over and these are the choices I’ve made.

What choice are you going to make? Comment below and tell me.

My own Passion and  Purpose


I usually sit down on a Sunday and write my posts for the week. I don’t always get them all finished on Sunday, mainly because talking (or writing) about something this personal is pretty damn emotional and tiring, so sometimes I have to pick it up again the next day. I usually start writing the posts in my head on Saturday.

When I thought about writing my passion and purpose post for this week, my main thought was, “crap, I haven’t done anything on my novel again this week, what the hell am I going to write?” I then went into my usual “God, I suck” mode until I gave myself a virtual slap and Countessed Up Click To Tweet.

No. I have not worked on my novel this week.

But here’s what I have done:

  • Worked on the latest exercises in my business mastermind group
  • Applied for, and got, a part-time, online, job, that gives me the time, energy, and money, to be able to continue working on my business
  • Completed assessments for the part time job that has kept me going to this point
  • Read about building my business
  • Chatted to some people on facebook and hopefully given great advice and encouragement
  • Created an outline for a workshop helping women who are childless by circumstance to find their passion and purpose
  • Written five posts, found and edited the images for the posts and adapted them for social media

My huge takeaway from this week’s adventures?

My novel is my passion and purpose in this lifetime. But, it’s my passion and purpose partly because I know it’s going to help thousands of women come to terms with their involuntary childlessness and find their own passion and purpose. That’s partly why I do it. The other part is to help me come to terms with it.

And my business? It does exactly that. It helps women come to terms with their involuntary childlessness and find their own passion and purpose.

But no. I have not worked on my novel this week.

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